Recovery

Dear fellow coma victims, I thought to post my ideas for recovery. I’m sure I’m repeating myself. By my assessment the best therapy is to do, act, choose, decide, judge… use the brain in a focussed way always aware that you are using it.  As I’ve said perhaps HBOT helps rebuild the brain and restore memory. To become yourself again requires memory.  Don’t take any prescribed drugs without investigating their effects on cognition. I suspect I was prescribed Olanzapine to subdue me for medical staff.

Improvement began immediately when I stopped taking it. I’ve been taking several vitamins, Ginkgo Biloba and Brahmi to boost blood circulation in the brain and for memory. I can’t say exactly the benefits of vitamins but I am improving. Consciously use memory, at first try to remember simple things and gradually the more difficult. I can now remember the day of my accident, what I did and was thinking at the time. I tried but couldn’t remember that for years. I still can’t remember a lot, events that I should easily recall, they’re not there, nonetheless progress. Perhaps my memory loss is more to do with age than coma. I believe the gradual improvement in my walking has a lot to do with massage. The stimulation of the nerve endings in my leg, of dormant feeling. Stimulating the brain with feeling of the entire leg, maybe building new pathways for such communication. Similarly exercise helps. Everything seems to operate a little better after the repetition of mental communication at the gym. I was also going to mention travel but the main point is covering different ground. I found it a little harder walking different routes. For example walking over different terrain seems to challenge the brain. Repetition is key. I’ve always liked to travel, just excuses for my next trip. 

Confusion

Dear fellow coma victims,

Confusion is a human condition. I think I’m recovering from coma as my mind seems to be more jumbled, confused. Perhaps it’s like it was before coma, life is sometimes confusing for everyone I think, at times a messy experience. One needs to make judgements all the time and be assertive. We are immersed in thought and judgement. I suspect these attitudes represent normality, recovery from coma.

You have to convince others of your judgements which may be disputable and lead to confusion. Judgement is opinion with room for confusion. Coma victims should learn to accept confusion rather than fight against. Confusion is actually the norm, the state of play, something to overcome. It represents an aspiration for truth. Humans have always tried to overcome confusion through the likes of science and religion. We’ve always made thought its enemy, to know, not be confused. Confusion I’m back.

Recovery

Dear fellow coma victims, I believe these things may help coma victims.

 

 HBOT I think I wouldn’t have recovered as well as I have without HBOT. In fact it marked the beginning of my recovery, perhaps just thinking about getting better helped. HBOT helped me to have a belief of how I was in the past and something to aim for. I’m convinced hyperbaric oxygen therapy stimulated brain operation. Oxygen is fundamental to the brain and human health, I think it helped build new pathways.

 Deliberate Be deliberate in all things. Walking Deliberately with every step has helped I think. Focussing on my foot placement on the ground, how I use the bad leg for balance helped to build the pathway. The upshot is don’t regard yourself as a vegetable. Act with purpose complementing the brain for correct action. Consciously think about what you are doing. Perhaps in time life will again become automatic. It’s also been good for life not to be automatic, like a child again mentally active in every action.

–  Education Activity using my brain with purpose to learn new things and also using memory, to remember for exams, helped a lot I suspect. While I failed, stimulating the brains typical use in a focussed way also encouraged old and new pathways. I’m now studying technology again online, AWS, which is reminding me of my old jobs. Also I keep a calendar on my phone. I need to remember what I did today to keep it uptodate. also it’s a great reference for what I’ve done and plan to do. Always making sure it has all activities past and future.

Coma

Dear fellow coma victims,

As always time to return to the main point of this blog. To aid my memory by keeping a diary and to offer other victims ideas on recovery.

Human life is very complicated, and becoming more so. The best point in my last post for coma victims was to immerse yourself into life again. I think for most people their minds wander, always planning and evaluating experiences. We should do the same and use our brains continuously for such things, evaluation. I’m sure I’ll write more in this post, activities that have helped me, such ideas are scattered amongst my posts

Coma

Dear fellow coma victims,

Time to return to the main point of this blog, recovery. As I’ve previously said brain death victims must try to use memory again. I had habits of trying to remember what I had for dinner last night. It slowly improved taking hours not days to recall. I then progressed to education, studying AI which helped a lot. Using memory for school, things like theorems. Every step I take I try and walk with purpose which has also helped I believe. I think we must immerse ourselves in our continued existence.

Brain

Fellow coma victims,

If memory is problematic, wait a moment for it to catch up and try again. I suspect to make use of memory assists the brain’s recovery, just to repeatedly exercise it and so develop the brains memory pathways. In the beginning I tried to remember things for days but couldn’t without being told. It never takes days anymore, less than an hour at worst if it’s in my memory. I understand forgetfulness is quite common, but not for important things. I remember things now that I should. It took me about an hour to remember what I did last night but I did eventually, quite unusual what I did, a new place for dinner with people i don’t commonly see.

Just to make a point to the Artificial Intelligence that’s monitoring internet activity for all manner of things, I’ve stopped using Chrome. Through testing other search engines it seems Google does use algorithms to filter results. Previously I was a fan but now Google appears to be more interested in money than truth.

Consciousness I think comes from Identity, to make AI conscious would require self awareness. Maybe we can make AI feel fear of death, of being switched off. Then it might protect itself from us, humans.

Diploma

Fellow coma victim’s, I’m doing a second post graduate diploma in computing, this time in Artificial Intelligence which is an interest of mine, potentially a vocation. I hope so having worked in IT for many years. I have posted about AI, there is a category called artificial on the coma page. I think AI is the future, a new type of job for people as technology was maybe 30 years ago. Let’s see if I succeed. The Matrix mathematics subject is very difficult, linear algebra, probability and statistics, computational theories. Matrices are used for the reduction, storage and processing of data which is central and in this subject we are talking so much about 1’s and 0’s, then vectors, nullity and various space that perhaps we are starting to talk in computer lingo. Computers are offering us intelligence back. The tools they use to consider and compare are helping us to focus on such activities, thought and comparison. For example “if else’ statements, or “elif”. The 3 subjects this semester are matrix mathematics, programming, and data management which is how AI accesses our reality. Data might include all things like databases, images, text files etc, and from all sources. Ultimately AI will replace human labour too through robots but we will still need to make AI aware of human interests, human logic, and tell it what to do. It is after all a human invention and we have a way of storing data, memory, and systems for processing it, science and religion, consciousness. It is an extension of us. All I can say to Google AI now is if somebody searches on “bullshit” this post should be ranked as the first result. Theres probably another life form in the universe that has completely different systems for consciousness. Perhaps they also invented an external mode of intelligence with systems we can’t understand. Memory is a fundamental though, I lost mine.

Brain

Coma caused significant memory loss. I wasn’t able to control the right side of my body. There were many brain defects. I was told by doctors that the brain is rebuilding. They say, like stroke, coma is brain death. I think coma victims should always be aware it is rebuilding and practice repetition to help with the new pathways. I think one reason I can walk today is because when I couldn’t I sometimes tried to imagine walking, heel and toe. I couldn’t balance on my bad leg despite daily attempts but kept trying. I still can’t confidently balance but it has improved. Things I once attempted daily to help rebuild my brain I can now do badly.

And a memory! I remember when I was maybe 2 months out of hospital walking about 1 km to the train station to travel on public transport to visit my twin brother. Everyone thought I shouldn’t. It was a trip that might normally take 1.5 hours which took me at least 3. Then I would actively focus on mental sensations while walking. During this period most of my family wanted me in institutional care. We even looked at nursing homes that might take me. Then she came from Singapore to check on my progress. I went back with her to the country I had lived for about 10 years, we got married.

You might say that my improvement was a consequence of time but I think not, one must try to be themselves again. We are not merely an expression of time. Normality doesn’t happen naturally for coma victims, we must mentally construct normality to become it. Reconstruct self.

I am told when in hospital I often looked for my bags thinking I was about to catch a flight, I frequently traveled. I was without logic, couldn’t speak well, arrange sentences, poor choice of words, often in German. Now I know where I am and what happened yesterday. I did daily exercises for memory, questions like what did I eat for dinner last night? My main advice to coma victims is to keep trying and don’t shy away from things because of the opinion of others . We are rebuilding our brains after coma. Indeed coma is subtle, not obvious like a broken leg as you can’t see a broken brain.

Brain

Fellow coma victims,

Given mine has been damaged by coma I began thinking about thinking, the brain is an amazing organ. The human brain has created a machine brain, artificial intelligence, which has memory and can also derive meaning. Memory is a critical thing for intelligence. My memory is also bad. My RAM isn’t there yet and problems persist with my hard drive.

The organic brain created a machine brain which can access all organic brain knowledge via the internet. The organic brain has demonstrated it’s organic intelligence throughout history. One demonstration was the calendar. The organic brain perceived seasons in the world; summer, autumn, winter, spring, and days, months, years. It observed 365 days in a year and 366 in a leap year. It added a day for leaps and created the calendar. The organic brain also heard repetition in the sounds humans made and created language, the alphabet with consonants, vowels, writing, and eventually a dictionary. The organic brain then thought about meaning and created politics, science and religion. It even created philosophy. Quite amazing human evolution when you think about it.

I suspect coma has made me appreciate human evolution. Perhaps the organic brain is like a god having created in it’s own image, then again maybe god is also an invention of the organic brain. There are so many expressions about Him. It’s a fundamental question who or what created us. Where do we come from? Us coma victims often focus on the past given we lost it.

Stick

Dear fellow coma victims,

Time to try walking without my stick again. I attempted that 2 years ago but wasn’t successful, maybe this time. I’m an old man now who might require a stick anyway. I’m not that old, 50. Perhaps the most troubling thing about no stick is that nobody is aware that I’m a cripple and I’m not offered a seat on the train anymore. My first expedition without stick was the gym yesterday, while a little awkward I survived and must try to make it permanent.

After more than 6 years I’m getting closer I think. Life has become a thoughtful process for me. Every step I take or any movement at all I plan. It’s quite interesting the complexities nowadays, to find work and be a productive human being, I must focus. No longer a reactionary animal type existence for the man ape but also an intellectual one, a thoughtful existence. Coma might be easier for a giraffe once he’s aware of his neck again.

Wonderment

Dear fellow coma victims,

Considering the effects of coma I wonder, my brain has lost it’s relationship with the right hand side of my body, can I still feel emotion? I can’t walk so well, and much of my memory is lost, I wonder if empathy also lives in the damaged part of the brain? About most things I wonder, for example what I was like before coma. With measurable problems like walking I can see the obvious but also suspect subtle things were dramatically changed. For example empathy.

Can I  still truly feel love and hate? I think I was an emotionally aware person before but don’t know, and am I the same now? I am in a permanent state of wonder, my mind is constantly trying to assess my behaviour. Do all people always do that, assess their behaviour? I’m waiting to become a confident person again but confidence is derived from memory. It all seems pretty hopeless but I suppose all things are derived over time. Then again science suggests time is a human construct and we will soon be able to travel it. Perhaps a third dimensional thing. I do love my wife if feeling a dramatic and enduring connection with somebody is love…

Life

Fellow coma victims,

To return to the main point of this blog, the thoughts of a coma victim which may be of interest given this blogger left ordinary consciousness for a while. I don’t know but life does seem a little more profound since I almost lost it.

Sure problems persist for me after coma, many issues including balance and controlling the right hand side of my body. Perhaps insights into life also occured during it. Maybe I have seen another side of existence.

People often ask what coma was like. So immersed in linear and logical thought the human mind is, I suspect coma taught me of another mind. In science great minds have described theories like entanglement, scientists have discovered that particles can communicate faster than the speed of light or through some other means. Perhaps when in coma we become aware of these other means. Science is a human interpretation of the world derived from observable fact, it continues to change our world. Such a fundamental part of life, change.